R E S U M E : PHRA POONSAK NANAVADHDAKO
Native of the province of Cholburi, he graduated from the Military Academy and served the Air Force up to the rank of lieutenant colonel. He was married and had three children. He was interested in meditation and went to practise at Wat Maha Dhatu. After some training, he noticed that when he worked up to a certain degree of concentration, his body would be shaken. His teacher could not help him solve this problem. And he became quite annoyed by it, so he gave up the practice. Later he read a book on Mindfulness of Breathing (Anapanasati). He followed the method until he mentally perceived an image of a corpse with its loathsome aspects(Asubha). He became so much graven that he cried. Besides, there were also other images that appeared to his mental perception.

One day he happened to meet Phra Acharn Thate at Wat Phra Sri Maha dhatu, Bangkhen.Phra Acharn Thate had come from Phuket to spend a few days there. So he went to pay respect to Phra acharn and asked him some questions on meditation, especially on the experiences he had had from the beginning of the practice. For this he received quite a clear explanation. Furthermore, he also received advices on the way to practise, which he made use of until he came to his own realization. One method included a contemplation on the five Aggregates, from then on he came to be trained by Phra Acharn, communication with him mainly by mail, since Phra Acharn stayed in the province of Phuket.

He followed the method and advice of Phra Acharn Thate for not less than ten years. In the meantime he began to feel braved at the prospect of entering monkhood. That was because he felt that it was difficult to attain an expected goal while being a layman. For three years he led a life of chastity. He used to submit a letter of resignation to his superior, but the resignation was not granted. At the same time Phra Acharn thate did not quite agtee to his resignation.

However, in the year 1974 he felt that blemishes in the life of laity were more than he could bear, so he decided to ask for permission to enter monkhood. It happened that at the time his superior was changed and Phra Acharn could not detain him any longer. Therefore, he entered monkhood at Wat Hin Mark Peng. Phra Acharn Thate was his Upajjhaya. Now he has made a good progress in meditation. Having some problems in the practice, he presented to Phra Acharn the following questions:

According to text books, the body within the body refers to the internal body and theexternal body. The external body means the outside of oneself; the internal body means the inside of oneself. The internal feeling (Vedana) and the external feeling may be explained the same way. We may say it simply that they are the external Five Aggregates and the internal Five Aggregates. The internal Five Aggregates are what we are. The external Five aggregates are those outside of ourselves. This is what is said in text books.

Now let's speak from the pragmatic point of view. When the one who practises is not able to get at the genuine heart, he will have to depend upon the functionong of the phusical body with its mental activities. To those who are capable of getting at the genuime heart, the consciousness will be detached from the physical body and from the mental activities connected with it. The heart will be conscious of the heart itself. This heart also contains its own set of five aggregates, similar to the one we see in dreams. That is, it is not concrete.

Nevertheless, it has a form visible only to the heart. It has feelings and can perform any volitional activities. In other words, it can at least be conscious of contacts. This inner "self" is most difficult for us to part with. Even if we are to leave the physical, external body upon death, we will cling to the inner "self". This means we take our"Aggregates" along to rebirth.

That is a device in the training if each and everyone of us. If we have no gross sense-object and have not been able to perceive any blemish in the heart, we will allow our thoughts to roam about, grope about. We will cherish those thoughts.

The point is, if we do not see the blemishes, we will not abandon them, we will not want to leave them. Only when the blemishes become quite large almost beyond correction, that we begin to see them distinctly. The truth is, if we do not see a blemish of a particular object, we will not be able to leave it. Now this time we see the blemish quite clearly. So, as soon as we see it, we have wisdom. When wisdom arises, the heart releases the object, detaches it and becomes calm indeed. This is the way to train the heart. And we all have the same experience. The various sense-objects are like this.

When sense-objects comes to our heart, it may be light or it may heavy. If we have not come across the heavy one, we will feel happy. However, as soon as the heavy one comes, then it si time for Dhamma. We can catch that object and use it best as an object of contemplation. If we are not able to see Dhamma, we will certainly be pestered by it over and over again, so much so that you had to cry as you related just now. Then we may see Dhamma or the Truth (that is, attachment is suffering).