Miserable Life


I was asked to divorce from my beloved husband for the reason that he wants to have new life with his new rich lady. I was shock and crying out like a river. Now, it has been for 8 months, but I am still hurting and I cannot get away from this pain. I am so lost!!

Could any good one here tell me what karmas did I commit in the past? How Long do I have to pay for it? and Is any ways that I can eliminate those karmas?

I am just feeling sorry for myself and so scared of it would happen again and again...

Thank you very much,
Thai people in foreign land

Please accept my sympathy for your problem. This is real suffering for all who lose "loved" ones either alive or dead. As taught by the Buddha, to meet "unloved" ones is suffering and to part "loved" ones is also suffering.

You asked what kammas you did in the past. Nobody can tell exactly what but according to the rough scope of kamma work, I can say that you did similar to what your husband is doing to you now. In other words, to commit adultery brings you the result of losing loved one to other women. When one breaches the 3rd Sila (precept) i.e., "To refrain from committing adultery." , the result is as you are experiencing now. And when you did not do it at present life, you must have done it in past lives for sure. There is nothing that happens by chance or accidentally, everything roots from causes. This is one of the main themes of Buddhism.

You asked if you can "eliminate kammas". Regretfully that I have to tell you that no one can "eliminate" kammas committed already because they are past. Nobody can correct the past but can starts doing better things at present. Once kamma is done, its effect is already created and can yields its effect when conditions are ripen.

What you can do now is to do meritorious kammas the most that you can. There are three main meritorious ways you can do i.e. giving away (dana), practicing Silas (precepts) and mind training (Vipassana and Samadhi).
The more you can do merit, the better for your life both at present and future.

You are not alone in this case. Please do not feel so down. The problem will be solved in harmonious way if you understand the work of kamma and the Dhamma of the Buddha. You can lose anything, but do not "lose" your mind. The mind is the "Chief" of all. Please know that nothing is "permanent". If you do not lose him (husband)now, you will lose him later anyway when he dies. You cannot change others but you can do yourself. Try to accept the fact that you are "paying back " for the bad deed you did in the past. Try to "forgive" the involved parties and "thank" them to let you have this chance to "pay back" the debt. This means that your debt is at least reduced by one unit. This means that you are suffering now in order to be happy in future. You have lost nothing because you do not own anything in reality. You do not own even your own body and mind! Why? If you really own them, you will be able to instruct them to be according what you want i.e. do not get aged, do not suffer, do not cry! But you cannot command anything that you think belonging to yourself!

Try to find and learn more "real Dhamma of the Buddha." and you will find the real refuge for your life.

If you can read Thai, see others who are suffering similar problem as yours in these links :

Thank you so very much Mr. DDMAN. I owe you a very big time. I uesd to think that my problems were more overwhelming than any others could possibly help, but I was completely wrong. A bunch of people are torturing form same sort of story, then why I coop myself in the dark.

You gave me hand, I will redo as you had done to me to others for return.

You are blessed, Mr. DDMAN.

It is my great pleasure to be of some use for others.
Life is too short to be drowned only under sorry caused by others.
Better take your time doing more useful things to others.
Then you will find that your life is not a "waste" but "valuable" not only to yourself but also to others.

It might take you some time to heal your wound from this event but this will be gone soon. Remember, "nothing remains permanently." All are subject to change..always and all the time.

May the merit gained from my postings, support you to get over your suffering and have a better , happy life soonest.




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